· Make
Eye Contact – If your child’s gaze is wandering, he isn’t paying attention.
· Use
Your Child’s Name – Stating your child’s name helps to grab his attention.
“Billy, it’s time to pick up your toys.”
· Make
Sure Your Child Can Hear – Speaking slowly will make it easier for your child
to process what you are saying. Make sure the TV isn’t on and you aren’t
shouting across a noisy room.
·
Prepare Your Child Verbally for Changes in Activity – “Honey, in five minutes
it will be time to clean up your toys.”
· Don’t over-rationalize or
over-explain –The rule is, when dealing with your child’s behavior (“pick up
your towel now”), use less language. When helping your child think about
something (“What do you think dog Heaven is like? Let’s try to imagine that
together.”), use more.
·
Don’t Negotiate –You can, however, mention the benefits of listening to you –
“After you pick up your toys we can watch Arthur.”
· Reinforce your Message
Visually – It can help if you offer a visual cue when you speak to your child.
You might start to put the crayons back in the box when you say, “It’s time to
pick up your art supplies.” Or, you might demonstrate what you want him to do
to make sure he understands. “Let’s set the table together. You put all the
napkins out just like this.”
·
Reinforce your Message Physically – If your child ignores your request, get
close to him, take his hands gently, look him in the eye and wait until you
have his attention. Then reiterate your request – “It’s time to pick up your
toys” – and lead him into doing what you asked if necessary.
·
Whisper or sing– If your child isn’t listening, call him over so you can tell
give him a secret message, and then whisper what you want him to do in his ear.
You can also sing your directions – (to the tune of “London Bridge”) “Joey
needs to pick up his toys, pick up his toys, pick up his toys; Joey needs to
pick up his toys so we can have our dinner.” For some great clean-up and other
transition songs, go to http://www.preschoolrainbow.org/transition-rhymes.htm.
· Let your puppets do the
talking. If you have puppets or stuffed animals, talk through them using funny
voices to make requests. “Hello Sara, do you think you can put your toys in the
box now? That would make me sooo happy!”
·
Offer two Choices – “It’s time to pick up your toys. Shall we start with the
blocks or the tea set?”
· Be
Realistic so Your Child Can Succeed – If your three-year-old drops a cup of
orange juice on the floor, don’t say, “Clean that up right now.” Instead, hand
him a paper towel and say, “Let’s clean that up together. Here’s a towel you
can use.”
· Make
Listening Fun or worthwhile – Insisting that your child listen and respond
doesn’t mean you have to become Nazi-mom. Make it fun to respond. “It’s time to
get ready for bed. What do you say we make it a race to see who can get ready
the fastest. Whoever wins can pick the first book!”
·
Demonstrate Good Listening – When your child talks to you, show him that you
are listening by making thoughtful responses and asking questions about what he
says. Don’t interrupt him, hurry him along, or pretend to listen when you
really aren’t. By watching how well you listen, your child will try to do the
same.
·
Praise him –“You really listened well. Thank you.” Children work for praise.
It’s such an easy reward to give in so many situations. Source: Testing For
Kindergarten, by Karen Quinn
