I got a mail from 'Santa'

I just love this time of the year...

At this time everywhere there are lights, people are shopping.

You go to malls and it is flooded with different tinkers, knick knacks and with people.

Everywhere it is my favorite colors, my favorite colors are red, green,white oh blue oh yellow actually all colors ... so it is so colorful out there... and if it snows it is an amazing amazing experience.I just feel like let it snow...though the life just stops where I stay but I remember having best of my times last year walking in snow to target specially just to get Santa hats.

Do you know this time I was among the lucky ones in the Santa list. I got an email from him, he asked me my wish list. How it would be, if we just come out of our boxes and open

our hearts and be free to talk, express about our wishes, our love, just be like small kids and ask for it.Embrace the people, life and things the way they are and just be happy about it.

Spend some time enjoying with what you have,dancing, singing, dressing, celebrating... So try saying, your wish list to someone I am sure if not someone ...be your own Santa. Treat yourself , gift yourself with something pack it and open on the Christmas morning.I am sure I am going to get that something and open while others open what I get for them.

It is Christmas and what I love about Christmas. It has concept of presents and one of the most lovely imagination called Santa...

I love my present and would always like to live in that, what I have and I am now is the best, I could get as it is the 'present'. I would always like to open my 'present' with all the excitement and anticipation of what can be inside, rather knowing it before and I also would love to live in a dream called 'Santa' and keep dreaming for more, there is that someone always listening to us and If we really yearn for it he will definitely give it to us...we just have to really really yearn and ask for it.

So Santa is listening to you... keep wishing and dreaming.

He is there listening to you while you sleep while you are awake, while you are good or bad. Coming week I am planning to wear all red and white may be santa likes me more for that. :) and my wishlist is...Hmmmm!!! Let this between me and my Santa

Ho!!! Ho!! Ho!!!!

Happy Day...

Today is a happy day...
As I could see a 4 yr old smile for I could meet him in the morning.
Today is a happy day...
As someone not expecting me saw me on the door and we celebrated her special day together.
Today is a happy day...
As I wished to god not for me but for someone other, who was praying and asked god grant her what she is asking for.
Today is a happy day...
As I could find time to do what I love.
Today is a happy day...
As I said "bless you" to everyone who sneezed around me.
Today is a happy day...
As I could return smile, if someone smile at me.
Today is a happy day...
As I could get up in the morning on time and say thanks for the day.

String of thoughts!!!!

Day before yesterday - why do I need to write about every thing I am fascinated about or I find interesting or I feel is right.
No I should as then I will make my kids read it and together we can plunge into their mom's colors of life, since I live my days like as if today or tomorrow could be my last and if that is the case at least when I am not there I have something about me for my loved ones ready as a legacy.
I used to write a dairy since I was a kid, as a teenager.
One such dairy is utter embarrassment till date to me, as my mother always carries with her, wherever she goes to save phone numbers of her friends and she would write arbitrarily on any random pages of that dairy even in her social kitties (I don't know how she relates which phone number is of which friend of hers though). With first half of the dairy filled with my daily thoughts.
Like why did I get less marks I worked so hard or O' God, please help me to get good grades in English or O' God, I come to gurudwara all walking please get me kinetic scooter, Thanks I got one, kinetic can make a difference in someone's life and everyone should have one... Oh it was raining so much, It is so difficult to come to gurudwara on kinetic I wish I had a car this way I can come to you in any season etc etc and those endless thoughts in each page.

Now , such thoughts and my mother taking those to her kitty and if one of her friends ask some support for her housie/tambola tickets. She would confidently give that dairy to her. Even worse is , she would laugh with them and would tell me about her guffaw after reading my dairy pages.
Anyways
Yesterday's thought- let me stop blogging, I don't need to write and let the world know what I am thinking, there are always some set of people who would make fun of it and it is not solving any purpose. I will go and delete my blog from blogging world.

Today - I am in the middle of one of the busy days at work and like as always I am escaping my work by writing again. So no matter how busy or how trivial those thoughts are- I love penning them down.If not my kids atleast I can smile on them in my leisure times.
***
No matter how busy you are, you will always find time for things which you want to do or you like.If you are not doing so please do, as time keep slipping from your hands and you would realise how days are long and years are so short and you would always remember those things which you couldn't do than those which you could. Whenever you do something do it for you or the ones you care and rest forget it.
With this ...
Dance as if noone's watching, write as if you can pour your soul into it, sing for as if there is no one between you and for whom you are singing, don't work for the luxuries or income but work for the purpose you are here in this world.
***

Thank You

Thanks Giving - two words as simple as it can get... Giving Thanks... :)
Living in United States this is one of the most awaited holidays after christmas I guess.
Flight charges surge, and you can hear your friends/colleagues asking their peers what their plans for thanks giving. Mostly people try to get together with family or go out on tourist or solitude place. But literally
I wonder in those days or on a normal day how many times do we say Thank you ...
we just take most of the things for granted and assume we are born with all what we have with our birth right.So let us thanks for our rights on this special day by doing something small.
Anything is fine...
Everybody have their way, but try doing it some way. I do it my way too or probably the most convinient way.
The way I incorporate thankyou in my day to day life, whenever I have my dinner in a plate.
I take one small piece a side stating thank you for a day which was so good and thank you for always a meal for me and my loved ones. This is also most fun meal of my day as it is in one plate with my better half and I ask if he has done said above, I always look forward for it and eat that portion in the end.
Here it is, why not you say 'Thank you' to someone or to so many this special holiday season.
Trust me you would realise how much happiness and gratitude are intertwined with each other.

"Happy Thanksgiving"
Thanks for reading though :)

Because, I want to do it!!!

Whatever you want to do it,you really want to do it and you feel that is right, Do it. Never let others decide whether you would be able to do it or not or it is right or wrong.

In my 11th grade my close friends were playing for our state roller hockey before that they used to play ground hockey with me since it used to happen in school. I always longed that my parents like their parents take me to stadium too, and I also get to play and take part in tournaments. It never happened, and my parents always consider only good their child can do to herself would be getting good grades.I was just about above average, never a topper but always used to make it as I remember I used to associate my dignity to almost anything.

I alone went and took up roller hockey, my father sternly said ‘NO’ as he didn’t think it will take me anywhere. I borrowed skates from my friends brother and with no sports shoes and no track suit. No, money was never a constraint if this is going there but my parents never think it was a great idea to delve into roller hockey at this age, I was 18 or 19 at that time. When getting to good college was utmost important and balancing on skates for me would be quite difficult or you can say impossible.

I did it, and became part of my state hockey team and our team did win gold medal as well. A confession I didn’t even know roller skating properly and was laughing stock of the spectators too with hatred of other team members owing to least experience and for my luck for getting a place in the state team.

By winning gold medal each team member gets 10,000 rupees as scholarship. With that first thing I got for myself was a sports shoes and from that money my first bank account was opened and that bank account always has money and I learned to always keep some money aside for dreams, passions or aspirations. I also got admission in comparatively good college for the same reason and things started falling in place.

Right now, I am in one of those situation again I am slogging and whatever I am putting is not leading me anywhere. Probably I should be grateful it is making me go through that interesting path again and I would like to think this is happening for the reason too. I am seriously thinking of a career change following what I would like to do and whenever I discuss the same with friends. I get the answer wherever you would go , you would find the similar type of work. I answer them then I will change from there too. Unless I find something which makes me passionate about and when I get up in the morning I look forward for my day.

If you wanted to do something, and you are not doing because others are telling you won’t be able to do it, then you are doing biggest injustice to yourself, stop leading someone's else life.

Do it because you want to do it, not because other did it or other didn’t do it and things will start falling in place.

PS: I am not saying you shouldn't listen to others advice, you should always listen to what people has to say but do what you think will make you happy.

Blessed!!!!

Everyday write one thing you are blessed with. (more is allowed and anything counts e.g. coffee at my workplace is free :))
I assure you in the end of the month you will realise how blessed you are and you would be bloating with happiness, smiles, confidence of so much fortune you have (In true sense not in literal terms).
In the morning I just did that, when I got up thinking about that thing and with gratitude of how blessed I was.
Suddenly in the morning sun smiled on me. The streaks of it coming from the clouds as I see it from the window at my work seemed so pretty.
Laughter of the person sitting in the other aisle at work which on usual days is annoying I have to switch on my headsets seemed so special that I had to go and compliment him stating your laughter can make anyone's day brighter :).
Do it ... if not and you are too busy it is ok. In that case, I can vouch on it that "You are actually BLESSED", so be happy and
***
Make it a Great Day.
***

"Honey" I Flushed the phone.

By 'Flush' here I literally means flushed ...This was 9Th in my lost phone list.
***********************DISCLAIMER*****************************
This blog doesn't justify my habit of losing things, I should work on it.
Second, I shouldn't be pulled for it.
*****************************************************************
I have a confession to make and here it goes, story with me and my phone starts way back in 1999.
1st Phone:I never fantasize stuff, but I want to have and do everything in life from tech to luxury from love to friendship, from happiness to crying that's me. As my sister left for United States for her job and I had an eye on her cellphone back then and being second in the legacy ownership among my siblings.
I got her smallest slim Siemens's c35, trust me I was the only one in the whole college to have a cellphone at that time.I used to flaunt it with a transparent college bag and visible my cellphone, there were times when I used to go past the college canteen, where all the guys staring of what the girls are wearing today I used to call on my cellphone itself from the canteen STD to flaunt look I have a cellphone. Just two days, past and I make my visit to college bank to pay my minimal college fees I came back you know what somebody stole it (transparent bag :)).I cried and I was so so hurt , I lost the most dearest thing to my heart told my friend who once proposed me and he was like don't shed tears I will get you so many more. There comes my boyfriend (now my husband) on his scooter who comes to know from his network of friends, that his girlfriend is crying to bits and pieces and I ran towards him.No he didn't say the above lines or in fact he didn't say anything :( at that time I was contemplating a decision of him being my life partner. I thought this person in my life don't even care about the dearest thing of my life, I was seriously thinking to reconsider my decision.

2nd Phone: Later, from the money I used to get from the tutions bought a simple old used Panasonic phone, as I feel phone was the greatest thing I could get for myself, not a great phone for a person who goes so much on whims and luxuries, so had to give up on it.
3rd Phone: Two years passed without a cellphone after that, I came out of college with our recent college jobs we earned minimal 7000rs or 140$.
Pay day so hence first pay gift from my boyfriend, now my husband ... from his first salary was a colored nokia cellphone which was worth 14000 rupees at that time. I never bothered, to know howcome from his 7 grands pay he got double the prize cellphone, OK that was the day I thought my decision was not that bad and I should marry him :) and till now he is man of few words but can get the world for me even if he has to stretch himself to limits.
4Th Phone:
After 4 yrs after working for 3 years, In 2006 I came to United States as a student, the moment I entered my brother arranged for me T-mobile cellphone, since here the cellphone comes with the contract it was 2 yrs. Bummer!! the moment I entered into my university campus it doesn't get great signals in bluewall (College Cafeteria only :)) , with me always throwing the tantrums want a new one.

5Th Phone : So, my sister got me a Verizon cellphone next week though everyone in my friend circle had AT&T since my sister had Verizon that made her sense (it will be free for her to talk to me :( ). With passion of talking and connecting to people. I always used to exceed its minutes and used to pay some 150$ etc phone bill almost every second month.On the first fight with my mom and dad, I threw my cellphone I broke it. I learned never break your stuff when you are angry, you have to pay huge returns after you cool off. I think that was the last time I did it .

6Th Phone : Brother Ordered new one,:( , It was HUGE BULKY Nokia phone, all my friend used to pull my leg open the phone antenna and then talk.

7Th Phone - Didn't like it, wanted a new one please ... :) saved money from funding to get a new Verizon phone (which are damn expensive), got a 175$ out of contract phone, I was a grad student earning minimal 395$ per paycheck at that time.
8Th Phone- My b'day in 2008, need for iPhone arrives as it is in rave and phone is best thing I can have for my b'day.Boyfriend gets me one, again the same story I flaunted it :) ... Got back after my wedding, first thing I do when I land in US, check my emails through my phone :) put it in seat pocket in the plane and then sink back on the seats to get a sleep as had pretty tiring trip visiting three countries in four days for our so called honeymoon.Reached my home, after a long long journey... next morning all set to get back to work, shhhhhhh!! phone. HONEY, I left my phone (So called iPhone) in the plane. Christmas time, Santa get me phone please :) my so called dear husband, went and check out for iPhone again , this time out of contract and it will cost 400$s.

No I am done , I don't need one went alone and got a 9$ phone from the best buy and you know what it works great, I can talk with the same clarity and nothing changes and soon I realise it doesn't make any difference the purpose of the phone is to talk and which ever numbered phone it was , all served it purpose...

One fine evening at work, as the festive season starts after whole day of strenuous work as always me making plans for the weekend and the festival talking to a dear friend on my so called 9$ phone as I talk, make plans and pay a visit to restroom while I talk... After hanging up lost in my thoughts, open the restroom door, with phone still clinching between my shoulder and ear, with my face all tilted. Conversation over, head back to normal position... and there it goes right there ...
With technology present anywhere but everywhere... toilets too are with sensors and it flushes and down it goes my dear 9$ phone which taught in the end it doesn't matter how much it costs, the only thing it should do is solve your purpose... goes right in front of my eyes,churning and down there...
Next thing, that comes to my mind..., Happens, gone not a big deal.. I am used to it, not a big deal, this time no crying, no qualms just called my husband right then from my desk who apparently was enjoying a basketball (Blazer game) at the stadium.
Stating
"Honey - I flushed my phone " and he replies.
"oh it is OK, don't worry we will get the new one"
Next call , I made to my mother
"Mum - I flushed my phone " and she replies
"oh , it was your 9$ phone ,no big deal by now you should be used to it"
and rest no-one knows... :)
To some - I lost my phone, to some it got spoiled truth is, It got FLUSHED :( ...

You see, when going gets tough- tough gets going and If you can’t get out of a situation, you can at least make the most of it, so everything will be OK in the end...if it's not ok, it's not the end, so right now happy with my nokia 20$ phone, that doesn't mean I won't switch to another fancy one. Surely when the need arrives or I can afford one will do so :)

Ouch Moments!!!

As I walk through the drudgery of life and time keep slipping from my hands,bored of being busy, deadlines, writing prioritizing them, taking advice of smarter people,answering to my deadlines, aspiration of my career interests of why I am here, there is always something to long for .
That is also true that every morning I don't forget to do one thing - Thanking God of being where I am.Yes the days are taxing and definitely I am not there where I want to be, still the gratitude of breathing where I am, swiping my card to the premises not because I will get my pay checks from there but for the reason it makes me one step closer of what I eventually would love doing, giving me abilities of making my wish list into realities.
I know it doesn't work that simple we all have the former feeling no matter in what position and where we are, whether we are a student going to school, or a parent of an year old.
Life isn't always easy, okay, it's rarely easy. We all face some pretty big "ouch" moments just by being here and it's not always easy to cope.

I had tons of commitment at work, just wanted to skip, thoughts of 'this shall too pass' was just not working for me,I preferred running from it by opening my Gmail or accessing all the social networking sites connecting to all the friends for any possible reason, just wanted to give in or give up and then something made me smile.
It was the daily fortune on one of those sites and I really don't care about those automated preset fortune written by software engineer but lately I am noticing either they know me too well as it comes out to be so apt or just I am relating to anything but everything.
Fortune says :
Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working :) and I smiled I was tired and discouraged and thought let me achieve something so got back to work... :) for another hour till 3:00 am.
Next morning I couldn't make it to morning mandatory meetings, due to lack of sleep and again it seemed all boring and demanding again.
I felt like doing something fun, exciting and I had an urge for dancing one of the things I love, so started planning urged friends to hit some club on weekend for me need to dance and here it strikes again I don't need a formal party or weekend to dance, I made my dance play list connected it to my system all loud and jazzy again danced for one hour continuously and now work doesn't seem that boring I am all fresh and fit to stretch one more lap.
Ouch moments may happens on day to day basis in everybody's life but this is also true,
"Everyday may not be good but there is something good in everyday for sure "

Find that excitement and spark in your mundane everyday.

Take me!!!

Take me there, where no-one's know me.
Take me there, where I am still looking for a fresh start.
Take me there, it is only me who will do all.
Take me there, where everything seems strange but interesting.
Take me there, where I can again feel the air, place and the city is new.
Take me there, I feel scared to be in the evening and I feel I am alone.
Take me there, when the loved ones say you are being missed when I am away.
Take me there, where I don't feel this is it...and this is forever as nothing IS.
Take me there, where there is always hunt for more.
Take me there, where all people are new and I don't expect.
Take me there, where there is no issues in being silly,asking naive questions as I am new.
Take me there, where seeking help make sense as new to the place will obviously need.
Take me there, where memories are fresh and I still have the colors of people wet in my heart.
Take me there, where every day is new and every good things seems a blessing.
Take me there, when all unexpected are a lesson and this is how I will know.

I wish this place is here and the day is today.

Missing 'That Something'

Missing 'That Something'
I have been struggling for that something and I am on a hunt for it. It is not only me who is facing the same. It is my other half who has the same story to tell.
There is that something missing for both of us.
When we were in the grad school (Which is not long back we both left our well settled jobs to do something more interesting).
With bills to pay and college to take care of , with demanding professors, research to make it way through the conferences and a very small set of friends who were part of all the story telling of the days toll.We hardly used to talk to each other owing to be in separate colleges still we were together and very happy, missing each other nah!! we were always together geography never impacted it, there the focus was one , study and just get through this time with some real impact,there was no missing 'That Something' sort of feeling.

Now we are together, we see each other daily in the morning and in the evening, no we do not talk that much during the day times, we are working towards our jobs , we have our dreams to pursue and we are dreaming the life.
Still we are on lookout of that something which is missing in our lives.
The change from now and then is the focus.
At that time focus was only studies and keep our professor happy.

Now we are juggling with the focuses , our demanding jobs, our bosses, keep our friends and family happy, our dreams which we always wanted to pursue, our next short and long term goals, our possessions, since we are ending up getting a new grand home for ourselves, our debts, did I forget keeping each other happy too. I know within no time this list will increase exponentially.

We are trying to find a balance in all of these above and I guess we are missing that.
Life is all about it , change.
We have to learn to deal with our focus actually focuses and find a balance between all and to let know ourselves what is our top priorities.
We all have same time in a day, limited hours for job, fun, friends, relax, sleep and work towards our passion. So trying to find out a balance while we keep everything in order and happy.


PS: Yes, the picture above is me and my husband just hanging out there.

Yeay, It is my Happy Birthday :) !!!

As a grow one more year older, one more year of wisdom gets sprinkled on me...

One more year of happiness, one more year of family, love,friends, colors, laughter, celebration. Lucky me born in the beautiful world, with family to support me, give me education, give me abilities to type on this tech gadget and earn my bread with honey and jam.

Yes it is my HAPPY BIRTHDAY :) ...

I am so happy... when I must have been born, I am sure I was crying and moreover my mother was expecting a boy not me :) but then it was me... still I myself is a celebration.

I don't think so my parents had repents for it later, if it is me.

You know na it is lovely me :) yes I am big time bragger of my good & wrong doings.So I have learned my lesson as every year...

Few things, I have learned and honestly really hard way...

Never ever mix personal life with professional life, never let friends, family, life get to you when it is about work, finish it and then get to them they won't go anyway.

Try (Try!!) not to talk about your disliking about other people in front of people ( as there will be always something which you won't like we are always humans) BUT it will always come back to you and always with a different perspective not as you thought or your intentions were (Also if they see things differently, that doesn't mean they are wrong).

Start taking things little lightly, it is ok happens, will happen more.

You do things for people, as you choose to do so and it makes you more happy never say you did it.

Don't run after people, do things in limits, once you start doing people start taking you for granted and start believing this is way you are, not you are taking an extra mile.

Don't shout to prove your point, listen to what they have to say sometimes they say things which you cann't even imagine.

Yeay, it is my birthday... :) so I am enjoying every bit of it.

Will be happy and grateful to god, for getting a chance to wear lovely dresses, lovely clothes,all the love that I am fortunate enough people have for me, and because where I am today.

How lucky I can be I have you today... Thanks for everything.

Now!!!!

My friend got a corvette, I got a racing bike, Will run 30K this sunday,As of now trying to work while having fun.
Do whatever, you always wanted to do as there will never be a tomorrow and you will always have some more responsibilities and today will always be busier than yesterday…
You will always remember things, which you couldn’t do, rather those of what you could.

Life will always have its checklist so will you, elderly says there is always a right time for everything, they are not wrong but neither are you.
Let that right time be now.
Do things which you CAN now or keep adding to the wish list.If you really have that desire for that wish, it will nag you and you will keep coming back to that checklist.

Poeple who says, they are realistic and don't expects too much out of life, then definitely either they are not playing the game well or actually are real saints to be so content of whatever they have.
Quoting this, I always pull my mothers leg she didn't let me go for classical dance classes, or my dad didn't let me go for swimming classes as a child, But that doesn't mean I would not learn swimming or dance. If I couldn't learn swimming or dance, it is me who couldn't give myself a chance not them.

Happy List!!!!

I just realised today after looking at my big To-do list, afcourse it hardly depresses me now, I just keep giving each a shot or simply ignore them :), while going through the dates and time.

August is the Happiness Month :) according to secret society of happy people, 8th August is the happy day... :) and this is the month to stay happy, no matter what.

Not that other months you don't have reason to be happy about, but this one is special too, so recognize and express happiness probably you make someone more happy.

Happiness just doesn't come just like that, it is an art you pursue and is a continuous process.

At times you are so lazy to even pursue it and you keep yourself in the rut and kind of too lazy to get out of it and you feel somethings are not right and you are not happy.

You need to work towards to be happy and then it becomes a habit, it is great to have a habit of being happy.

For example you won't know how happy you would feel

Untill you go to park, with ducks or flowing water.

Gift someone something small, unless you see his expression.

Unless you wear that something which make you feel really happy.

Complete the work assigned at office, unless you focus to complete it.

Things that give me happiness is anything but everything and my list is endless.

I am sure they are different for you.

Try one today, write an email to old best friend, I know you miss her so much ( it will be one happy moment).

Tell your sister/brother or your best friend I love you... :) I can give you my words, she will smile back at you and may say I hope are you ok... (In my case I get an answer I love you too :) )

Go for a walk, or run ( For me running give me immense happiness and ROI - return of investment is way too much )

If not today but plan a dinner with friends, you don't need to go out for that just sit at anyone home,cook together and have food together or watch some movie together and can be any timepass movie (I do that very often last movie I remember I saw it with my best friend and we both were dancing on the couch on any music number).

Focus on your assigned work and try to finish it. ( The hardship and end result of it, is the most happy moment for anyone).

Rest is you to explore whatever it is , come out of the rut and stay happieeee....

If you ever want to comment on this , please do mention what makes you happy.

So have a Happy Happy Month :)

Baby Steps.

Small Steps Make it Big, someday.
Steps
I am taking to atleast not be a loser if not winner.
Taking it small and slow, introducing changes in my life.
I started, from getting more organized, by getting up early in the morning do those things which I want to do early morning as there is noone else awake.
Like pray a little, stay quiet and sit for a while before I start my busy day.
Not going to social networking sites, during day or office hours.
Reduced phone conversation during work timings.
Staying away from those people, who doesn't give me happiness.

Afcourse there is so many more steps to be taken, as of now sticking to the above is more than taking another step.
Trying to make sure do those things, which I can set as an example for others for example for my kids at some time, so that I can stand by the things I say and I feel is right.
Want to lead my each day, which when recorded I should be able to BRAG!!! about.

So if you have the feeling of being a loser, don't throw the towel and sink into it.
Rather just take one step, may be it makes you take two steps back, but don't just give in.
Bring into small changes, small steps make it big someday.

Loser!!!

I feel like a loser and how should I overcome it.
Loser is the one who knows he has failed and has no courage to put together and get going again.
The one who knows, he will fail again too.
The one who make promises and cann't keep up to them.
Make commitments and don't want to remember them again.
Who knows, this is not right and still keep doing it.
Purpose of life is to be happy about it as you have one but still that purpose is not enough for him.
Feels like quiting almost everyday and see past was the best he had.
Who wants to run away or let it go from his hands.
The one who blames others for his shortcomings.


Being a Loser is easiest thing to do, and even easier is to remain like that.

I feel like a loser and how should I overcome it...

Marathon!!!

As I grew up, I always had this dream of running a marathon and thought how would it feel like running with thousands of people and afcourse found it kind of cool!!!

Owing to strong believer in making dreams into reality made us register for portland marathon training (Marathons are 26.2 miles ) wonder why it is 26.2 ( it is distance from greek city of marathon to athens and i.e how it started).

Every saturday that too on a weekend getting up at 7:00 am and partying hard on friday was a pain. All the forces pulling myself back to bed so grumping me gets into the car, but once I am in the car and after the run the feeling of elation/ achievement on every saturday is priceless.

So here comes the time of half marathon with 13.1 miles, with me cutting on my expenses for a soon to a new venture and another dream any extra dollar hurts again time for a tradeoff...
so one day before... why am I running, I have chosen something which requires no skill sets and why do I want to hurt my body and get really sore ( No need right!!!)
Alright here comes the day ...I get really excited when I am among so many people and with 4000 ppl all gathered at the same time and place it is so thrilling and ahh!! stretching, ok few pictures before the start... and then a gun shot!!! start.

Now, talking with myself begins and all the thoughts pouring in pouring out!!!
1st mile why am I running this ...no no not to get lean ... I can always get leaner with better diet or gym
1.5 miles It is more fun when you are shouting and cheering on the side walks isn't it, all girls look so hot and cool ...End of first mile, I normally stop and walk for a bit shall I do it... today
2nd mile
Here comes the live music and then people serving water, heed in the end second mile wow!!! this is fun...
3rd mile... are you kidding this is only 3rd mile...I am already getting worn out.. a friend told me there is two big uphills I guess they are already getting over ... as I did that already.

5th Nah!!! he was wrong there are more..( I don't like him ... but if he can finish so can I).
6th if I can run 6 miles I can run 13 too ooops look at this asian man he is limping and still ahead of me...he has a knee problem and still he is smiling and going on... ( afcourse ahead of me...)

7th my god this lady should be 65 right still ahead... no I cann't overtake...Gosh another uphill!!! I won't stop no matter what it is... no I am not stopping...

Then I realised what skill is needed to RUN any MARATHON, it was PERSEVERANCE....courage to continue even if your body says no you cann't do it... your heart says no I think I cann't handle more than this... but honestly it is what you ultimately desire and how desperately you want it even in that pain you start enjoying and even if your face seems all worn out, your hair seems dissheveled... you can smile and then there would always be people with exactly in same worn out shape smiling back at you and saying"Good Job"....

I am sure, this is ahead of any skill sets... and I am sure we need it almost in every sphere or turn of our lives...It needn't be a race,No matter what you do once you have that courage to keep going on, it is about how badly you need it and you can do it with a smile and there will be always someone or the other in same boat as you are :)...

Ran 13.1 miles in 2 hr.08 min planning to get better for 26.2 miles in october.

Here are the pictures
http://picasaweb.google.com/aartichoudhary/Halfmarathon?authkey=Gv1sRgCNettufy6_K9vwE&feat=directlink

Biggest Signature of my life...

There will be always a time when you have to make big decision of life...
Those decisions make a path to a new road and a journey unforseen...
As always it is like "To do or not to do"
Once taken ... life changes with new set of surprises , new people, new path not taken before.

But make sure you are prepared for those and stop longing for what you had, you need to start looking for, what is ahead...( It took me a while to understand that as I was not that prepared!!!)

Change is inevitable, but looking forward for a change is where the fun begins and living into that change is what the courage is.

It is, us as humans we have,today as always more difficult than the past, but once you start living and start living in the present and start planning for future.
Things would suddenly start looking simple, afcourse to make it better you have to do some compromises which is fun too.


Anyways it was an arbit one.
As today another BIG DECISION to a new road taken and now looking forward for the change and compromises that comes along with it.

Life and Marathon...

My life is turning out to be marathon training, every week 1 miles adds up,it seems so difficult than the past week or almost impossible to complete it but still in the end we do it...

On our own pace though!!!

I wish!!!

I wish, I didn't grow up.
I wish I was still a child, who rushes to do her homework or actually claims it is done.
So that she can go out and play in the park or wait that there is some new house construction in the neighborhood and she can play hide and seek, get dirty and still feel the sense of achievement, for able to find almost everyone and she is a winner, as always.
I wish I didn't grow up...

I wish I was still that girl, who gets the packed lunch and forget it in the school or go out and forgets her slippers. When month ends on 100 rupee note in her hand she feels she is a millionare and can buy her world from it. I wish I still can gulp all my share of chocolate and have an eye over my siblings share,eat and swear for all possible world of not doing any sin as such.
I wish I didn't grow up...

I wish I can still wait for those evening hawkers and ask for orange bar prizes see if I can afford to have that 5 rupee icecream, if not then stealing sisters piggy bank is always an option and finishing that icecream in one go, making sure no red lips.
I wish I didn't grow up...

I wish I can still feel the air and the sun and get tanned, whistle and ride the bike with both hands let free and show all those people around what an achievement,don't care about what is next and what is going to happen in the future and feel this is the moment to be and the world and people are going to be always the same...
I wish I didn't grow up...

I wish I can still fight with my friends and ask them I didn't like it this way, and still we are friends and say I can fight with the whole world for you and vice-versa and we will be together for life time...
I wish I didn't grow up...

Travelling?

We are just a traveler in this world, with all the passengers.
At some fine point of time, you or I will have to change stations and bid good-bye to each other.

Initially it was hard to realize, we meet we make friends and then move on for new horizons.
A new exploration, a new way to dig, a new wake to follow.
Good-bye used to bring tears, and people were way too serious to get possessive on or to be insecure about.

So as you travel don't think what the passengers means to you as anyways right at some point of time his station would be coming and he would be soon departing, leaving for his next or new journey towards his destination. Thank him for the same and wish him luck for his new one.

See what you get from him, as he was part of your beautiful journey of life... Look for happiness, look for company, look for some learning, look for some special moments which you can cherish as they would never come back, you were the lucky one to have a company like that, while you travel through life :)

Don’t worry someone other, with different traits, with more colors and more joyous thrills is boarding in the same journey as you are in right now.
You will soon share some more lovely moments with him, it will seem as he was always part of your rendezvous and how difficult it was without him.

Dreams...

I am a Dreamer, I love to dream… Dream is what I do.
Dreams is what I weave.
I Dream what I will eat.
I Dream where I will live.
Dream what I will do, and keep dreaming for more…
Still I want to sleep less… as to realize those, I need to start working for those to be true and start dreaming again to have more…

Written : After tete-a-tete with a friend :) and 'I' here is all of those who have dreams, just that they don't understand it from day to day.

Its Over

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could".
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Believe it or not, one of the best demotivators is your past. Your past can drag you down before you realize it. Your past can give you a heavy burden on your shoulders.
The good news is it’s a burden you don’t have to carry. Take it off your shoulder and leave it. You might make mistakes in the past. You might disappoint others with what you did. But it’s over. It’s already in the past and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Today is a new day and you have the chance to start again. No matter how bad you did or what your past might be, you still have a bright future ahead waiting for you. Just don’t let the burden of the past stop you.
***

Void!!!

I was also wondering why do we pray.. When I was a kid my mom used to tell,
We always remember that up someone in our troubled times, but in our good times we forget remembering him.So I was like no Iwould remember and thank him in my all times.
but what and why to remember.
Later, I realised it is not that it would change something but it helps. I don't know how, it is different for different people but prayers has some real healings.. No it doesn't change things practically. It just give us patience and endurance to face that unknown which we think we won't be able to handle it.
While talking to an atheist, and his beliefs he states it is like man doesnt want to keep any void state where there is no answers and dont want to take that helplessness on him so he would seek help from his own creation 'God'.
"God is faith, is a belief" and is present everywhere from synagogue to temple to every human and means to reach that belief is a prayer which can be anyhow...

Even, if it is our own creation and it just bring that something which is hidden inside us only.
That helps and give us endurance to face the reality... give us patience and give us some corner to cry, give us a feeling there is that someone who is listening to us all the time. When we don't want others to listen and know...that we can also cry, get scared, nervous about that unknown, we can demand, put up a wish list like a small child.

So it is certainly a great feeling, to fill up that VOID!!! with 'The GOD' and means to talk to that creation by prayers. To have that someone you were always looking for, apart from your loved ones and it can be anyone you long for...

Colors!! (A Friend and Social Circle)

There always be a sometime when you will do something new in life.
So, this is kind of new to me and I am not sure if I am dealing with it right.

Whatever I do I have always done that with some set of friends... in every chapter of life.
Now I am getting settled into another chapter of life realized there is another thing or I am living something called social circle. I am sure everyone must have faced this at one point of time or will face soon...
ok here are the differences b/w the two, friends and social circle.
Friend you can call any hour or go to friend's place anytime.
You dont need to formally invite a friend. you need to ask a friend not request.
There is no term help when it is with friend.
You don't need any formal preparations to meet a friend but you do look forward and get excited about meeting a friend.
You meet a friend, you have a dinner ( and it is not the food no it is not ) and then you have unending stories, guffaws and may be bitching.
With friends it is not the movie which is the core focus, it is with whom you are watching.
When they are together every time is celebration and if there is one, it is with them you would want to celebrate.

Social circle, you invite them, you call before you go to their place.
you look for free spots to meet them, you get or give tentative plans.
when you meet you have dinners and then play cards or may be gossip about others.
you request for favors if you need one and find ways to return else you wouldn't do it for them anyways.
you need proper planning to organize a meeting with them and plan what would you do when you are together.
you plan a movie together you need to make sure all the parties have good reason to watch it.

I have had the best part of the first paragraph i.e friends in my life.
You see man is greedy I still look forward to have some more of it... but that friends are still unknown.
Regarding that social circle, I am trying to enjoy every bit of it or may be we find a friend in that too ... What Say?...

Wish it was like that and I don't feel a thing!!!!

I really don't want to feel a thing...
I want to run and hide and never come back.
I don’t know what is being happy and what is being sad...

I am feeling, the moment stops I just cry and these big tears sink me in..
I don’t want anyone and I want to cry and dissolve myself in sand.
I just don’t want to feel a thing.

Yes I am wrong, I am wrong everywhere as everybody say I am, others are right and so are you.

I am wrong, I don't need others to testify it...
I wish it was that easy…
I just don’t want to feel a thing.

I promise you I won’t come close to you
I wish I can do the needful...
Thanks for going away tonight, I wish this night comes again and again...
and
I don’t feel a thing.