There will be always something "old" in the New Year

“When you do what you fear most, then you can do anything.”

somethings and some people make a lasting impression, so does some lines. Somewhere I read "Years are short and days are so long"  

2013  

Lived each day in this year as if it was my last and made most of it.  I have been crazy juggling with many things this year, I have laughed to bits and pieces and cried to pieces as if it was my last day on earth still managed to hide it from the world.

If I tell myself to count the blessing of 2013, every day was a blessing and if I  put all of those in one it was called family. Without it's support  Work, Zumba, Bollywood Beatzz, Teaching kids, Dancing at Oregon convention center and teaching at local gym would not have been possible. I  "ALSO" did something which i feared the most  this year and it feel immense victory to do so... 

For me :

This year 2013 was about priorities and loved ones, year of learning. Life should be like a poem that it can be sung and remembered from time to time. It shouldn't be about you it should be about giving, understanding and believing in others but first foremost you have to believe in yourself  and enjoy yourself.  You should be able enjoy the art of making memories for others and you.

We watched a movie called Great Gatsby he used to throw large parties and everyone always surrounded him but when he died there was no one who came to his grave.  I have this fear too when I would need someone I wouldn't have anyone and I even shared with one and only.  somewhere i know I never ask for it as I have this fear of getting put down. 

on a lighter note.

Again one quote from the same great gatsby “Can’t repeat the past?…Why of course you can!” 

No matter how old you are now. You are never 2 young or 2 old for being a kid again or for  success or going after what you want.

I have this weird sense of insecurity when people doubt me and my work owing to lot of other things I do in my other lives out of work.Then I remind myself what I heard from someone worth an inspiration "If you have fire inside you, you will make it happen and you will succeed"  and I am living on these line every day.  “There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart".

Last but not the least learnt how to smile on losses in the last month of this year :) 

You should feel bad on loss but any loss that is replaceable and repairable you should be grateful that it is  a loss that can be repaired...

 Health , people, memories and smiles are the biggest treasures.

Happie 'Me List'

It is past 1:00 am and all the thoughts are rushing

Things haven't gone as planned as they should  and I am not the same person as I was  as I woke up in the morning I had couple of panic attacks, didn’t finish all my list of To DO items and  didn’t come upto my expectation or still didn’t reach my target weight or dimension  or didn’t get any kudos of hardwork, I have been putting at work but I am happie, you don't need to be successful, perfect  to be happie.

What does it take to be happie, anyone in this world the one who has no roof over his head  and is going through toughest times  still be happie but the one who  is driving a porche might not be , the list can be endless  and I will keep adding to My Happie List.

Happie List

1. Don't hold a grudge against anyone, remember holding a grudge wouldn't impact the  most other than you learn to let go
2. Always remember there is always so much you can do but do it with your honest heart and do it for you, someone very dear said me you are very selfish , if thinking about yourself "NOT" at the cost of others is selfish be it atleast one person sure is happy also if you are taking an extra mile for someone again  you are doing it for yourself.
3. Learn to remind yourself  what has happened has happened you can't change that , what you can change is what is going to come, so try to work on that rather keep thinking of what happened. It also comes with big warning that you can change only those things in future which are in your control

4. Try to have  good support system every person has unique place & importance in your life, you are not bound to stay with one and only one ,  every person is there for a reason in your life, value and respect each and every relationship or friendship and family and don't take them for granted do small things to make big memories.

5. Always pursue your  passions no matter I didn’t have my parents , family support pursuing my passions that doesn't mean I don't love them I love them to death but I pursued  my passion even if it needed sneaking out of my comfort zone or telling all possible lies :) but indeed it made me happie in the end.
6. Try to stay away from drama from people who judge and try to keep it simple , I usually get very nervous when I am judged  so still working on it…
7. BTW, one doesn't know what will make one happie unless you try it I very proudly say I am very ignorant, ignorance is bliss at times :) so be it …
8. Sometimes big memories  are messy ones learn to laugh at those and always think as long it is replaceable  and you can afford to get it fixed be grateful of it and laugh at it , thing happen and will happen just don't invite trouble make sure you don't repeat same mistake again :)
9. Being an extrovert doesn't mean you don't spend time with yourself, learn to enjoy your company, I love to drive to parties alone and at times have my lunch alone spending some time with myself is  my happie time :)
10. Make the best out of what you have rather not yearn for what you don't have believe it or not real happiness comes from things which has life "fresh air, floral, fauna and creations and man is best well creation you can encounter EVER!!! 

Make the best out of those  you have , scream and shout and let it out and be HAPPIEEEEEEEEE !!!! 

Alone 'I' Stand...

There is crowd full of people still the loneliness haunts me today…




All the memories are haunting, not sure how and why I am so restless…

Have so many around me still the feeling of emptiness shakes me…

I can scream and I can shout all I am looking for that one someone who just pampers me and say I am there for you..

I can get mad with you and smile with you for all the same reason today...

I won't leave you alone even when I think there is no need for you to be with someone…

Looking for someone one who doesn’t have something more important than me…

Looking for that someone who thinks sitting with me or being with me is more important than sleeping…

Who knows I have not been able to sleep sound for so many days and I want to sleep happily thinking how beautiful life is…



Wish I could find that someone and call it a friend …

This Friendship day I am missing that someone who says Happy Friendship Day lets celebrate togetherness forever and is not too busy to sleep, train or work :)…

That someone for whom my comfort, dream and wishes are most important that today, tomorrow or forever…

Loosing 'Myself'

I am looking for someone whom I lost on the way in the process of growing up.

I lost that someone, just by worrying too much what everyone would think if I keep her with me.
I lost her by pleasing everyone and by making those happy whom I just cann't, and leaving those behind who value me as I am.

I wasn't sure what I am doing I was not even able to make everyone happy around me at the same time not making that 'somone' happy either. so that 'someone' decided to leave me and I was left alone empty but stranded  between strangers.

Someone rightly said it is very important to have right set of people around you. I feel it is not only important it is actually absolutely must to have those people around who understands you rather judge you end result you would lose yourself.

It was hard to give up those whom you ran after for last couple of years with time you lose the confidence of feeling happy in your own company or finding or making the best out of the ones you have.
Nothing would make you happy which doesn't blends with your nature.

I have no complaints against those who judges me infact I am grateful as they helped me find myself. Infact I don't even believe anyone is wrong but me. I was in the wrong train doing a different journey it was my mistake I didnt board it correctly.
Now that   I am back to myself enjoying what I am and valuing those whom I think make my life precious in every possible way  and I am looking forward for making theirs by every means I have.
If you really believe in yourself and you want to see yourself where you expects you to be you got to just believe in "you" and never lose you. There is always growing up, but never confuse growing up with losing those things which makes you happy.

·         What we believe about ourselves is what we will become….the possibilities we can imagine for ourselves form the foundation and momentum for what actually happens - unknown

Fight your battles

Somethings in life you never expect but still they happen as you don't have control over them.
As I sit here waiting for my turn.
The place where I never expected to be back.
Now, within an year I am sitting back here with no feelings happy or sad only lessons.
Life is a lesson it teaches you every hour.
You go through things sometimes good and sometimes very unfortunate.
Never forget to take the lesson out of it.
Always remember every problem has a solution and this shall too pass.
I have a weired uneasy feeling so many thoughts are crawling over my mind.
All I know is to have a plan and thinking about plans.
Plan A and Plan B, it is always good to be more prepared than to be under prepared.
Few key things:-
1. Never blame it on others to have missed your train, it is you who is responsible for it if it is happening to you.
2. Have a Plan always for everything.
3. Don't ever ever take things for granted whatever is happening to you good or bad.
4. Learn through your mistakes and be honest with your work.
5. There are no shortcuts if someone is doing your work, you got to understand the process of getting that work done.
6. You have to fight your battles on your own, no one else can do it for you.